Creativity is a process, and for me that process is an internal dialogue of decisions being made in responsive reaction to every action. For the purpose of the video, I verbalized what would normally have been internalized thinking. The process made me wonder how many decisions are being made in the process of creating art. I think it is safe to say hundreds.
The quote seems to be attributed to Goethe but there seems to be some uncertainty.
The lessons have been coming full throttle. Last week was a true test of endurance or other skills which meant there were no drawings or posts for that matter. If I could have quit my paying work I would have but let's get real everything passes you just have to rise above it at the time.
This morning I had this amazing dream of abundance here with me that I had not recognized prior to that. After I sat up and the dream was remembered I sat down again and I wrote, and wrote, and wrote until I said all I could from the experience (I finally figured out after all these years that I need to keep a journal by my bed and a pencil because when I sleep I am accessing my creative source that I forget when I wake). After all of that, what I had on the paper was both an answer and a conclusion to a week that kept me from creating, a week of procrastination. My realization is this - The work of the book illustration is essentially done. Prior to that realization I kept thinking I have to get it done, why can't I get it done, what will the next page look like, how do I start, life is challenging, work is challenging, there's not enough time - That was all self doubting self talk. I woke up with a realization today that the work was essentially done, and the sitting down to do it is my practice, my reassurance that I can do this. It is not the work that is hard. It is believing in myself, unconditionally, every waking day. That's the work. My preparation to receive success is first to believe it is already here. Mind blown. For this realization I am beyond words eternally grateful.
Complacency comes when the challenge subsides. I see in everyday things that there are these moments of opportunity for creativity that are untapped, but the idea gets shelved for later in the order of priorities of what I should do now. An idea came yesterday when I took out the recycling (fortunately I had the presence of mind and availability of technology to photograph it as my reminder before removing it from the house), and yet another idea came this morning when I saw how I had scribbled out my name on a box that I had received weeks ago (I need to photograph that too). There is form and artistic expression in everything that we as consumers have consumed, are consuming; basically everything that touches human hands has our effect on it and so it speaks to us about our presence and impact as human beings. All my ideas are crashing into one another in creative ways that stop me in my tracks to take note. I will need a better system to address these ideas - since I can't do everything at once, and I can't yet support myself full time as an artist, and I have other commitments to honour and yet I know I must find a way to honour my creativity when it calls. The concern that has my attention daily is the need to follow through on the completion of the book. However, since I have made it a concern now and removed the joy of discovery it is harder to be creative with it. I know Aldo now, and his relationship with these letters, and I must find a way to keep each page fresh with the feeling of discovery so that the reader will feel that too. Perhaps my answer is in the bits of daily inspiration that I am seeing. Prior to today as I became hung up on each page of illustration I was seeing those moments of inspiration outside of the illustration work as separate from it. In my mind the illustration work was for someone else and the other ideas I was shelving were for me and the work that would satisfy my own creative curiosity, but maybe the two things are one. When I gather children's books for illustrations as research for my own process what intrigues me is the innovation I see in other illustrator's thinking. Now that I have addressed this illustration for today I think I will keep this new merging of purpose between illustration and "Fine Art" expression in mind as I go about my day. I have come to understand subconscious mind as creative mind, working out our answers when we set our intention on a challenge and then just relaxing or shifting the focus from solving instead to "sleeping on it" as the saying goes. There are enough examples of inventors who have achieved their greatest answers in this way. This has always worked for me with questions both big, and small. The conscious mind over thinks, where the resting reflective mind just calmly responds with knowing the right thing to do...As I go back to read over this post the answer came to take those photos out on my "camera roll" and create a catalogue of visual notes to keep visible in my creative work space. I am interested now to see how one thing influences another. At this point I don't think I need to look for more answers outside of myself. I just need to put all my pieces together.